I was talking to someone the other day about challenges they were facing and at one point they said, “Well, it’s obvious you don’t do that- you are all sorted. I mean, look at this place and what you’re doing.”It was quite a thing to not throw my head back and laugh and laugh and laugh- but that might have implied I was laughing at the person and not that the idea that I am totally sorted!
The reason I turn up week after week at this beautiful studio is because I need it. I need to purposely make time and space to check in with myself: my head, my body, my heart, my soul, my pain, my blessings, and to constantly practise self compassion, and to find space to clear my thoughts.
In my experience, most teachers running sessions to encourage self care and wellbeing are doing it for similar reasons. Most of us have faced some profound challenge and came across something: a method, a practise, a system that helped them come back in and find themselves again. Then they trained in that method to offer that gift back out to others.
With that in mind- I thought I’d show you the reality of the Moving Meditation classes. I rarely write about what happens in the class. In some ways, it’s because it’s so hard to put into words what happens but I also know I self censor as I don’t want people to be put off. So many enquire about the classes but then say they are nervous or that they feel they aren’t ‘quite ready yet’ and so I leave it at that. Some people say they think they might be too old, or that they have limited movement, health conditions, or that they think they are too shy.
So I thought I’d show you my experience. I have a health condition that flares up at times and I am mid flare. That leaves me in pain and fatigued. So recently, I haven’t been able to move physically the same I way I can at other times. These clips show the 30 seconds of real movement I had- the music made me feel like I wanted to shake off the heaviness in my muscles and for a brief moment- I had some energy come in.
After that, I had to stop and sit down. Small movements were all I had. Part way through the seated clip, you can see my battery totally drain and I need to sit back. Then all I had was movement in my hands. (I've pixelated the image to protect the anonminity of my dancers).
The time I just moved my hands was the most profound part of the 2 hours session for me. I stopped and I just spent some time with my painful hands. I explored that pain. Then I brought some movement in and that brought warmth into the muscles, and as I did that, I remembered to do so with real compassion. I gave myself space to feel it all and to give myself a break. Found my compassionate inner voice rather than my critical one, and once I soothed my hand with real love, the music created golden threads that came off the tips of my fingers. I played with those golden threads to the music. Out of pain, my compassion created beauty and it was just so lovely to be able to create a moment where I found creation rather than stagnation,
That is the invitation of this class. Come however you are and move as you need to. If that movement is totally internal- that you close your eyes, listen to the music, follow the paths it takes you and and be curious enough to explore that inner landscape. Some people come and curl up in little nests we make, others come and really, really move. It’s different for us all every week- some weeks more still than others. The session is for all ages- I have a group of women in their 70’s who have been coming for years. The women range from the occasional older teenager to women in their 80's. Some of the women have serious health conditions, others have big transitions happening, some are grieving, others are in perimenopause, or have caring duties, some of us are fully in life being just good, and others just come to move, shake, get their heart rate up and boost their endorphins.
All of us come to see what might need moving week to week, and mostly we come to be in a group of women who don’t judge how we might be that week and who love us. This group is real- there for us when life is messy, painful, confusing, and for when life is feeling joyful.
That there is the ecstatic experience- to be safe enough to feel the whole range of our experiences, memories, and emotions, and to have a tried and tested way to express them. To be able go through catharsis on your own terms, and to find what is underneath. Discovering week after week that you are totally perfect as you are and that you have everything you need already waiting right there inside of you.
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